30.3.16

TRANSITIONS

I have mentioned this many times before, but I am not a big fan of change. Fear of the unknown is definitely something I have always struggled with. So instead of saying "change" I'm trying to replace it with the word transition. Hopefully that will help me to view change as a good thing, rather than something to be feared.

With all that being said, we are going to be experiencing quite the transition in a few months. Alex will be finishing school in a few weeks and he has been applying to jobs ever since November. For as long as I've known him, Alex has been attending Carleton University. Looking back on the past 4 years, I've realized that every year of him being at school, something big has happened to us. First year we got engaged. Second year we were newlyweds. Third year I was pregnant. Fourth year we started raising Calvin. I can't believe that in a few short weeks he will be finished!!

Ever since we got married we've been open to moving anywhere in Canada, but it would happened once Alex graduated. But because him graduating felt like a million years away, I never really thought about it, until now. This is all getting just a little too real and little too scary for me. My mind quickly becomes filled with "What if's". What if we move to an area where we have no family? What if the ward we move into is unwelcoming? What if we move to a city where the midwifery community isn't as strong as it is here in Ottawa? What if it takes a long time for us to get a job offer? What if Alex ends up hating his new job? What if? What if? What if?!!!

Then all of a sudden all the questions go away and I feel calm. Alex already has an incredible retail job that pays well, and has promised him full time hours once he finishes school. Luckily we won't need to look for a job in complete desperation. And at the end of the day, everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Maybe we will stay in Ottawa. Maybe our family will end up in a city and realize that is the place we need to raise our children. Who knows. All I do know is that no matter what, we will experience this transition together as a family.

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