I've mentioned this many times on my blog, but here I go again. I've had a real struggle getting used to my body since Calvin's been born. I gained the majority of the weight in my last trimester, and none of it was water weight which was extremely discouraging. When I was pregnant, I was convinced that once Calvin was born I would loose at least 20, and then loose the other 20-30 pounds in 6 months. And then reality gave me huge a slap in the face.
Nothing went according to plan. I kept looking at pictures of me pre-pregnancy self and thinking of the size I used to be. When I went shopping I would take items to try on that looked like they would swarm me. But once I would get into the fitting room, I would soon realize I was used to dressing the body I had before. I hated shopping and only became comfortable shopping at Old Navy because I knew what styles and fits worked best for me there. Everywhere else was literally a nightmare experience. Back in December I decided to make a change in my diet and exercise routine and I lost quite a bit of weight. Then Christmas came, and I said bye-bye to my progress. Calvin's first birthday is quickly approaching and in January I began to feel very discouraged that I had made very little progress (if any) since his birth.
Then about a week ago I came across The Small Seed's choosing to love myself challenge, and although I admit I haven't participated every single day, I have noticed a change. I want to focus less on setting goals that have to do with numbers, and more on how I feel and improving my thoughts. Instead of looking forward to what my body could look like, I want to love my body now. I know it's far from where I wish it was, but at the end of the day does that really matter? So what if I don't get back to my original weight. I am choosing to be happy now, and it's a choice I will continue to make.