28.5.15

POST PREGNANCY BODY

This is a topic that I've been wanting to talk about for a while now, but I just haven't gotten around to writing (partly because I've been putting it off, and I've been enjoying cuddling Calvin more than blogging) To start, the transition into motherhood has been so incredible. Calvin is a dream, Alex is super supportive, my recovery has been awesome and I am happy. The only struggle that I have been facing has been how I see my post pregnancy body. A few years ago I lost quite a lot of weight (around 50 pounds), and one of my biggest fears about pregnancy was that I would gain it all back. During our first year of marriage I gained 10 pounds, and over the course of my pregnancy I gained another 40, which means I am back to the same weight I was before I lost the weight 4 years ago.

A couple nights ago I completely unloaded to Alex about how I was feeling. I said things that I have never said about myself before. Things like: "I don't feel pretty." and "I don't like looking in a mirror" or "I was so much prettier when we were first married". Luckily I am not at all uncomfortable around Alex, and surprisingly my naked body doesn't horrify me. For some reason in my mind as soon as I put on clothing I look terrible. It's weird, and I don't understand it. 

I hate how I feel, so I'm doing something about it. Instead of focusing on the numbers on the scale, or clothing I buy, I want to do one thing everyday that makes me feel beautiful. At the end of the day this body created the cutest baby boy I have ever seen. I should be proud of what I have done, not ashamed of how I look.

6 comments

  1. You are beautiful and I'm so.proud of you! Love Mom xx

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  2. you look gorgeous ( as always!) i have struggled with body/weight insecurities my whole life and lost a lot of weight before getting pregnant. my fear is feeling gross and ugly after my baby is born and hating my body. i want to enjoy my baby and feel beautiful and not be hating the amazing miracle that just transpired in my body! i will be praying for you because Lord knows i'll need prayer once my baby is born.

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  3. You are such a beautiful woman! What a healthy attitude to adopt too. I have been extremely depressed this past year and my body size has played a role in that. Ali just turned one this week, and I only have lost half of my pregnancy weight (and this is what I weighed right before I gave birth to both Gavin and Teague). You brought up a great point though, this body of mine has created 6 lovely children and I am so happy it was able to do that. We need to not be so hard on ourselves!

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  4. Honestly, having a baby changes your body so much that it's like getting to know a whole new body and love it all over again. It took me about 3 months before I accepted the change and about 6 months before I started to like it. And I lost most of my baby weight right away, but my body was just so different. My best advice to you is to take some time to yourself, go out and buy a couple of cute things that fit the body you have NOW that make you feel good when you wear them. Rejoice in the fact that your body created life and that it now shows your "battle scars". I recommend following "Birth Without Fear" facebook page or "Take Back Postpartum" on instagram. It's all about 4th trimester bodies (I.e. the first 3 months post-baby). Also, I think you look fantastic. Your body is amazing. Take pride in what it can do! Also I love the short hair ;) Wishing you much love. If you ever want a shopping buddy let me know :P

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  5. Ah! Postpartum bodies! I am slowly starting to love my body again at (almost) 9 months postpartum. I think the biggest thing I had to accept is my new breast size/shape. Boy! Like you mentioned, I think admitting to your spouse what you don't like about your body is important, in some way. I don't know what the reason is, but it seemed to help me, and it was nice to hear him say that he still thinks I'm sexy after the fact :) ;)

    Thanks for being a great example of self love!

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  6. okaaay i am that exact way when it comes to clothes on/off. for some reason i feel way more body conscious with them on?? haha and i thought i was the only one out there like that! but on a more serious note...you are a beauty and your body just created another beauty!!

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