While I was reading an old journal last night, I had a thought.
Is this how I want to be remembered?
I wrote in this journal only 4 years ago, yet I cringed at how selfish and prone to complain I was.
Even though I was going through a pretty rough patch, I wish I had written in a more thankful and optimistic way.
I wish I could have handled those situations and trials with more maturity and strength, as opposed to pointing the finger at other people and talking about their faults.
I wish I had written more about how I was feeling, and less about events that have had absolutely zero significance in my life.
What would they learn from me?
How would they imagine me?
What characteristics would they want to emulate?
After that little epiphany I've come to a decision:
It's time to start journaling again.
But this time I want to really ponder and take time to write about my thoughts, my feelings and my testimony.
I want to be remembered as loving, gentle, and honest.
Someone who was less concerned about herself, and more for those around her.