I like to call this little bump my "pooch". Still in the looks-like-she's-put-on-a-few-pounds stage1994
I am three years old.
I am helping my mom make cookies.
Since we're home alone, she gives me both mixer beaters so I can lick them clean.
I think I'm being super sneaky when I continue to scoop out a little dough and eat it, but I feel like she knew all along what I was doing and just let me have my fun.
Once the cookies are done, she pours me a glass of milk and we sit and eat a few.
We have countless home videos of me while I was a baby/toddler, but I think this is my very first memory, that was never caught on film.
I knew in that very moment, that I all I ever wanted to be was a mom.
Alex and I had a plan.
We wanted to have a year of being newlyweds before we started trying for a family.
But as we begun to pray about it, we felt we needed to start trying a few months earlier than planned
For the first time in my life I was terrified with the idea of becoming a mother.
And that feeling made me realize it was time to start.
After a false alarm, I kind of just stopped thinking about it.
July 26 2014
Out of nowhere I turn to Alex and say: "Maybe we should buy a pregnancy test"
I'm not sure why I felt this way.
I didn't think I was pregnant.
Nothing felt different.
But we bought the test anyway.
July 27, 2014
I go take a little tinkle, glance at the test after a few minutes and see: +
For the past year I have taken a grand total of 6 negative pregnancy tests.
I was so in the habit to seeing a negative that I was definitely not expecting a positive.
I burst into tears right then and there on the bathroom floor.
I run out of the bathroom and jump onto my sleeping husband screaming:
After a few minutes he finally comes to and we are giddy and excited.
I still feel like I'm dreaming.
That this pregnancy is all in my head, and there's no baby.
It's weird to think that the moment that I have been waiting and preparing for is finally here.
There's a little one growing inside me.
I get to be he/she's mom.