Chapter 775

It's 2:30pm, and I am still in bed.
This morning a friend from church gave me a reason to drag myself out of bed and took me to Perkins for breakfast.
I needed it.
A lot.

Thing is I have been in the same ward my whole life.
I never thought the transition from being Rebekah Wagner, to being Rebekah Baronins would be so tough.
But it has been in my home ward.
I feel like I haven't found my place at church.
Which is weird, since I have been going to the same ward my whole life. 
There is no other newlywed couple in ward.
Every single couple is either pregnant, or has kids.
We're at different stages of our lives, and seems to make Alex and I distant. 
Thankfully I have a strong testimony, and an incredible calling.

On top of all of this, I had a horrible day yesterday.
Having conflict with family is never fun.
Especially when you are hurt by one family member, and angry at another.
The argument was about something stupid, but it brought everything to the surface that I have been feeling for almost 3 years now.
I hung up the phone with so much anger.
And it scared me.
I have never been this angry at someone before. 
After talking to my mom about it this morning I felt a bit better, then a few minutes later felt awful again.
I was sobbing so much.
Too much.
So I said a quiet prayer, and I was at peace.
I'm still not 100% healed, or ready to apologize and forgive, but I know I will be.
I can't do it alone.
But that's why I have a Saviour.
To help me. 
It's one thing to feel out of place at church, but no one should every feel out of place in their own family.
Thank goodness I have a mother who lets me talk it out, and husband who cuddles me to sleep as I bawl my eyes out.

So I feel that it's completely ok for me to still be in bed.
But I am determined to get out of bed and make myself pretty.
Alex and I are celebrating the anniversary of our first date tonight, and I refuse to be a sour puss. 

Something that helps me calm down: The Cellar Door

Chapter 774

Today I was determined.

Our second bedroom has been calling to me:
"Clean me. CLEAN ME!"
Since we moved in it has been our "puteverythingandanythinganywherethereisspace" room.
As I was doing a full clear out of the closet, I found my old jewelry box.
Inside were the sweetest treasures from my childhood.

I'm what you might call a memory hoarder.
I hold on to things that I have even the slightest emotional attachment to.
I noticed that I had kept every single "Best Friends Forever" necklace I ever had growing up.
And I remembered every friend they were shared with.
I noticed my diamond (or should I say "faux diamond") butterfly necklace that I wore to my grade 8 grad.
I noticed my locket my grandmother gave to me, that has the picture of the missionary who baptized my great grandmother.
I noticed my very first charm bracelet.
I noticed my YW's necklace that I got when I turned 12.
I noticed my gold necklace that was given to me by my Auntie Sue for my birthday.

Even though this jewelry box held my memories, it was time to get rid of it, and keep the actual memories.
Time for another little girl to fill it with her memories.


Chapter 773


Sometimes I just need a girls night.

So Brigitte came over for dinner.
It was a much needed "catch up"


+ ate waffles
+ shared some laughs
+ updated each other on our lives
+ and realized we are going through some similar feelings.

I love that even though so much has changed for us over the past 4 years, one thing has stayed been the same:

We will always be best friends.



Chapter 772

It's time for an update.
First I have a confession:
I took a little blogging break for a few days, and I loved it.
But at the same time, I've missed it.
It's confusing, I know.

Speaking of confusing, I got a job offer yesterday.
To be the assistant manager at The Body Shop.
I had an interview with them back in May, but they didn't have any full tim openings at the time.
Every time I go into the store, the manager (Brandy), always tells me how much she wants me to work with them.
It would be my dream job.
But at the same time, I already have a great job.
I called Brandy back and told her I love the job I have now.
She was totally understanding, and told me if there is ever a job open, she will take me.
I woke up this morning thinking about an opportunity I may have missed out on.
This job would give me full benefits and I would be an assistant manager.
So I think I am going to call her and tell her I am interested in working part time, as well as keep my current job, just so I can get a taste of what to expect at The Body Shop.
If I love it, and the offer is still open, who knows what could happen.

I'm just so grateful for a Heavenly Father who gives me these opportunities. 


Chapter 771

These two melt my heart.
And I would love to have a cuddle from both of them right now :) 


Chapter 770

My feet are hurting.
It's been a long day at work.
I have a pizza in the oven, a pile of dishes in the sink,
and Bon Iver playing in the background.


Chapter 769

Introducing my favourite lunch. A picture that has nothing to do with this post.
Today my store opened it's doors to the public for the first time.
It was weird that after 3 months of working with no customers, to have the place filled with them!!!!
For the rest of the week I will be doing cash, as opposed to my regular department (merchandising).
At first my thoughts were: "Oh great. This is going to be torture."
But surprisingly I loved every minute of my 8 hour shift!!!
All I had to do was ring people through and smile.
I love my job, I love the company, and I love my co-workers.


Chapter 768

I have gone to Ocean Park almost every summer since I was 6 months old,
and I have never found a sand dollar.
Until this year.

It was our last day on the beach, and the water was full of seaweed.
I had never seen the water like it before.
Kelsi and my dad were already in, but I was hesitating.
Which is not at all like me.
I usually run straight in no matter what the temperature.
Seaweed, on the other hand, is a lot harder to face.

While I was getting myself ready to take the plunge, I notice a white, completely round object near my feet.
Right as I am about to reach for it, a wave comes and it's gone.
I start screaming: "I just saw a sand dollar, but I lost it in the wave!!!"
Kelsi, my dad and I all started staring at our feet trying to find it in the seaweedy water.
Thankfully Kelsi was able to grab hold of it.
A complete sand dollar.
No chip or scratch.

It now resides in our living wall, in a shadow box along with another shell we found.
A little reminder of summer.


Chapter 767

A few weeks ago, mom got her mother's day present:
Family pictures by Chantelle.
My mom loved what she did with our wedding photos, and she wanted some updated family photos, so we thought it would make for the perfect gift.

It's funny to think that over the past 3 years, our family has doubled in size.
My brothers and I have found incredible people to share our lives with,
Andrew and Kelsi have added a beautiful daughter/niece/granddaughter to the family
And mom and dad have loved watching the family they created grow.

Having a family that are also your best friends is the ideal situation.
I guess I got lucky :) 


Chapter 766

 A birthday for Alex:

// Twinkies for breakfast
// Sour gummy worms
// Lord of the Rings
// Raspberry lemonade

Happy birthday my dearest husband! I love you!!


Chapter 765

Pier fries.
Homemade french fries are always my favourite,
but there is something special about eating them near the beach.

We buy them in Old Orchard Beach,
a little commercial, tacky town a few streets away from Ocean Park.
It's a fun place to walk around and visit, but when it comes to relaxing and swimming I much prefer Ocean Park.

Just another Maine tradition.


Chapter 764

Sometimes I...

... straighten my hair. I've re-fallen in with having my hair straight.
... take selfies on my Macbook.
... listen to old Miley Cyrus songs. I'm reminiscing. I miss the old, cute Miley. It's sad how fame can change a person so much. Why oh why can't you sing songs like 7 Things anymore??! I admit it, I love that song.
... hammer things into the wall. Almost everyday I've added something to the walls, rearranged things in our place. I get excited to show Alex when he comes home. Keeps me somewhat occupied.
... call my mom up so we can have a mommy daughter date. I didn't realize how much I needed my mom, until we hung out tonight. Being with my mom always makes things better.
... jump into Alex's arms when he comes home.

Let me rephrase that last one:
I always jump into Alex's arms when he comes home.

Chapter 763

Sometimes I feel quite pathetic.
Yesterday was one of those days.
I got home from work at 2:30, tried to take a nap and failed.
So then I watched some TV, ate some waffles, made some hot chocolate and waited for Alex to come home.
I fully intended on doing some chores.
But it didn't happen.

I think one of the hardest things for me is to come home and the house be empty.
I'm used to coming home from work and at least one person being home (mom or dad).
Now and again I'd be home alone, but I would never eat alone.
Making dinner for just myself makes me sad.
I enjoy cooking, but only when I have someone to cook for.

But today won't be like yesterday.
I am determined.


Chapter 762

Let me introduce you to the cutest kitty around:
This little kitten has been hanging around Andrew and Kelsi's apartment the past week, and on Monday they found out he's a stray.
So they popped over to our place to print out some posters.
But if no one claims him, he may be a new addition to their family :)

He's the sweetest, cutest, cuddliest kitty ever!
And now I want a cat..


Chapter 761

Today I am craving a Lime Ricki.
I am determined to buy some raspberry syrup, Perrier and limes.
I may not be on the beach, but I can still indulge a little!


Chapter 760

This week has just flown by!
I still can't believe that it was only one week ago that we were on the beach.
I miss it.

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