One that has been quite a shock for me.
I am self conscious.
It is very common, especially for women, but I have never realized it until a couple months ago.
Here's the story.
Two years ago I lost weight, quite a lot of weight actually.
I never felt fat or uncomfortable in my own skin, even when I was bigger.
But when Alex and I got married, we started to eat pizza, candy, and waffles.
Not everyday, but more often than I was used to.
And I started to gain weight.
Not a lot, just a little.
My clothes started to feel tight, and when I looked in the mirror I saw a girl who was bigger than I was before I lost the weight.
And that scared me.
I wanted to get back on track, so we bought a scale.
Turned out I only gained 10 pounds, but to me it felt like I gained back every pound I worked so hard to loose.
Thankfully I have the most incredible husband, who never made me feel ugly or fat when I was with him.
But as soon as I walked by a mirror I saw something different than he did.
I was tired of feeling this way.
So I made a decision.
Something needed to change.
Instead of saying yes to my coworkers when they offered a sweet, I would say no.
Instead of going on my laptop, I would work out as soon as I got home.
Instead of focusing on things that I hate about my body, I would focus on the things I love.
Instead of letting discouraging thoughts come into my mind, I would remember who I am:
A daughter of God.
It's only been a week and half since I made this commitment and I already see a change.
Yes I lost 7 pounds already, but that isn't what's changed.
I feel stronger, and most importantly, happier.
Our bodies are a beautiful gift, and we need to remember that.
I feel like I needed these few months of bad feelings to fully understand that concept.
My body is a gift.
And it is beautiful.
I am beautiful.
Tags: Emotional Rants