I have come to a realization.
One that has been quite a shock for me.
I am self conscious.
It is very common, especially for women, but I have never realized it until a couple months ago.

Here's the story.
Two years ago I lost weight, quite a lot of weight actually.
I never felt fat or uncomfortable in my own skin, even when I was bigger.
But when Alex and I got married, we started to eat pizza, candy, and waffles.
Not everyday, but more often than I was used to.
And I started to gain weight.
Not a lot, just a little.
My clothes started to feel tight, and when I looked in the mirror I saw a girl who was bigger than I was before I lost the weight.
And that scared me.
I wanted to get back on track, so we bought a scale.
Turned out I only gained 10 pounds, but to me it felt like I gained back every pound I worked so hard to loose.

Thankfully I have the most incredible husband, who never made me feel ugly or fat when I was with him.
But as soon as I walked by a mirror I saw something different than he did.
I was tired of feeling this way.
So I made a decision.
Something needed to change.

Instead of saying yes to my coworkers when they offered a sweet, I would say no.
Instead of going on my laptop, I would work out as soon as I got home.
Instead of focusing on things that I hate about my body, I would focus on the things I love.
Instead of letting discouraging thoughts come into my mind, I would remember who I am:
A daughter of God.

It's only been a week and half since I made this commitment and I already see a change.
Yes I lost 7 pounds already, but that isn't what's changed.
I feel stronger, and most importantly, happier.
Our bodies are a beautiful gift, and we need to remember that.
I feel like I needed these few months of bad feelings to fully understand that concept.
My body is a gift.
And it is beautiful.
I am beautiful.


  1. you are so inspiring. i'm not sure how much weight i have gained (ryan threw away our scale) but i definitely need to take a lesson from you. I dont like the way i feel or look. i find it hard to get motivated, but maybe just maybe your words are enough. you go girl!

  2. Such an important lesson. My weight fluctuates all the time and therefore so does my self esteem but, like you said, my body is a gift, a gift from God. I need to respect that and be thankful but also treat it with care and love.

    Thanks for sharing! and yes, you are beautiful!

  3. This is just what I needed to hear today. You're such an inspiration!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!


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